the police officer looks down at his tummy and says “you are under a vest” and giggles to himself
I am 100% determined to use “Thinking Out Loud” as my first dance song when I get married
a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.
To please everybody all of the time
‘Cause everybody’s always fucking changing their minds. ❞